


Dear Child

by slowmobanana



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-30 22:57:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8552776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slowmobanana/pseuds/slowmobanana
Summary: The world is excited for you.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Michael and Lindsay are having a baby, and I'm so fucking excited for them! So I wrote this, because the idea came to me earlier today. Onwards.

Dear Child,

The world is excited for you.

And I literally mean that. Twitter and Reddit is blowing up and everyone won't stop congratulating us, and I can't stop smiling and she can't stop smiling and I have never been so excited and terrified in my whole life. Little kids in horror movies have scared me shitless before but you've really taken the cake.

It's crazy. I can't believe this is really happening. I have never been more religious on my life than I am at this fucking moment. Everyone kept asking about it, and I was like, “I dunno, I don't think I'm ready,” and just suddenly... bam. I'm going to be a dad. Holy shit. Me and Lindsay, we're going to be parents. Us. The two of us. My best friend and my wife. Us. Parents.

And that thought won't stop running through my head that you – you! – are going to be my child, whatever you turn out to be like. I can't stop thinking about what kind of person you'll grow up to be. I'm trying to take this one step at a time, if we'll make it through 'till June, how we're gonna set up your room, how we're going to change our schedule so we can handle having a baby, what school you might go to, and I just can't seem to focus on any particular thought and I don't even know what sex you are.

I think I understand now why Ryan went fucking crazy. How the hell did he and Geoff do this? 

I'm so excited for you. I'm excited to see you breathe life and experience things that maybe I haven't yet. I'm excited to introduce you to the world. I'm excited to teach you how to swim and find out what foods you like. I'm excited for the first time you hold a controller in your hand and your first word (probably "fuck" but hopefully "momma" or "dadda"). The first time we go drinking, and the first time you hit a bong. (You read that right.) You, the little bastard in my wife's stomach that everyone is excited for. Everyone is waiting for you.

Nothing has ever been so scary in my life, and I was tazed twice. Right before I got tazed the second time is probably the second scariest moment in my life. And also Outlast. And Emily Wants to Play VR. (That was fucking intense.) But I'm scared to think that I might not be ready to be a dad, that I might not be the World's Greatest Dad, or even a good dad. (Let's be real, I swear like a motherfucker and I hear you're not supposed to do that around kids, but I don't give a fuck.) But I won't be alone. Lindsay's gonna make a great mother. I know she is. (Hell, she took care of my sorry ass a few times. Not that I'll admit it, but you know.)

But, while I don't understand a lot of things yet (I'm not even halfway through the parenting book 'cause holy shit, that thing is massive), I can tell you with certainty one thing. Even if I suck at parenting, even if you get born without a leg, or some kinda weird shit goes on and we lose our jobs – whatever fucking happens, I promise you that I will be there. Maybe cursing at the top of my lungs, but I'll be there. We will be there, together, for you. We will be a family. I will protect you from anything that tries to hurt you, and I will start shit with anyone who tries to start shit with you. I will teach your how to defend yourself, and how to take care of yourself and be a fucking adult 'cause God knows some parents fail to even do that.

But, no matter what, you will always be loved. We will love you.

The world is excited for you, but not nearly as excited as we are.

With all the fucking love,  
Your Father

 


End file.
